Direct Mail Package Makeover:  Revised Self-Mailer Gets Record Response

 

Self-Mailer Outer and Mailing Panels

Here's the "before" version of this 3-panel self-mailer:   

Notice in the "after" below: 

• Mention of testimonials on the outer panel -- before the recipient even knew what the program was all about -- was removed.   

• The confusing headline and graphic was changed to more compelling copy and a simpler graphic. 

• We got more SPECIFIC about the special FREE offer 

 

Self-Mailer Inside Panels

The "before" version of the inside spread took the eye on somewhat of a rollercoaster ride, with all the arrows and bubbles. 

The "before" copy focused on "we've got a product to sell" -- and jumped around from introducing the idea of a Bible Club, mentioning some of the details of the Club, pitching the offer and call to action, and then "whispering" the benefits as sort of an afterthought.

The "after" design still moves the eye, but does so in a more normal reading manner. Graphics in the "after" don't overpower the copy by screaming "look at these graphics". 

The "after" version first intrigues the reader with some involving questions, and then it introduces the solution. The offer is then pitched, and the unique benefits of this program are featured prominently. Only one purple arrow remains -- allowing it to really draw the eye to the response device. 

 

Direct Mail Makeover Results?

Christian Education Warehouse reports they were overwhelmed with response -- they had to call in temp workers to handle all the FREE Kit requests!